Too fat to wear a bikini

The following is a belief I had for a long time, that I changed once I used my goofy noggin to examine it!

I am too fat to wear a bikini.

Hmm. Last July there was a really adamant voice telling me that a bikini was not something I could wear unless I was properly "skinny". But was it the actual fat tissue that was stopping me from stepping one foot and then the other into bikini bottoms and tying on a cute top? I didn't have any trouble getting a bra or panties on my body, and the bikini doesn't seem super different from those things...

Would they stop me at the checkout line and say "We're sorry, you are simply too fat to purchase that bikini."? ...I'm pretty sure they actually just want my money.

Weren't there people in the world who would be totally grossed out by my fleshy roly-poly tummy? Wouldn't they say nasty mean things to me and about my body? Well yeah. But what kind of person would they be? They'd be the kind of person who thinks they're physical beauty ideals are more important than my bikini wearing happiness, right? I decided to take pleasure in their displeasure; to welcome their disgust while simultaneously causing it. If I could get that kind of person to actually vomit, then that would be the ultimate success! Trololololololol ;D

But what about the nasty mean comments? Well, from what I've seen on the internet, people leave nasty mean comments no matter what you do. They also seem to REALLY enjoy making those comments. Wouldn't it be nice of me to give them an opportunity to make nasty mean comments? I'm such a nice lady ;)

After thinking about it, I decided I really wanted to wear a bikini, though I had never ever done so before! What was really stopping me was my belief that so much of my flesh should not be seen by another person, more specifically, that the offensive flesh of my tummy must be hidden or else!

Well, 256lb Tiffy looked down at her soft, white, large and roly-poly tummy and it didn't really seem like it could be all THAT dangerous. So I went and bought a bikini.

AND THEN I JIGGLED IN IT.

I have this blog thing that I write in. I am a person that loses weight without paying anyone money for it. I share tips and things. I have a youtube channel also and I put videos on it that I have been told "will never go away"

Is my fat really stopping me?

What weight loss means to me

The quickest way for me to lose 50+ pounds would be to amputate a few limbs. Bam! Instant weight loss success story!

...Or maybe not?

When we talk about weight loss, we are really talking about changing our body composition. We are aiming to use up some of the extra fat stored on our bodies, and there's about a million reasons why people choose to try to do that.

The big common reasons, though,  are to look more physically "appealing" or to be healthier, and more capable of doing physical activities, sometimes a combination of the two.

I encourage you to take just a few moments to be curious about the actual physical limitations that fat tissue creates. Does its physical presence prevent you from chasing your dream? Does fat cause the inability to think or feel? To love, smile, or laugh? To help others and share your advice and experiences with the world? Are you telling yourself that fat is in your way for something it really isn't?

Its very liberating to realize and understand that the fat on our bodies is NOT actually a deterrent for many of the things we think it is. The physical fat tissue in your body does not prevent you from feeling a warm summer breeze, from watching a duck look after her ducklings, from thinking about the meaning of life, from smiling, laughing, loving and being happy.

Fat tissue just isn't as limiting as we take it to be. Fat Stigma is another matter ...for another post I think.

It's a very healthy practice to be open, aware, and curious about what you are telling yourself about yourself! Be curious about what you believe about fat, fat tissue, fat people, all these things. Why do you believe what you believe? Do some of your beliefs contradict each other?

Finding the strength and courage to question what you assume and believe about ANYTHING is a difficult endeavor, but it can also be exquisitely liberating.
(and fun! ...and it may lead to jiggles!!!!!)

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, OMG.
~Tiff

Further Reading and Resources:

Geneen Roth on being more valuable than your weight
Stop Hating Your Body, A Body Positive Tumblr