Thursday, May 10, 2012

Losing my Fat Happies!!!! Sad face! D:

OH NOOOOooooooooo!

I have had an EXTREMELY UNSETTLING series of thoughts!
In losing weight, I had naively assumed I would only be losing nearly useless fatses from my fleshy pink body, but I have inadvertently lost my favorite weapons and threats too!

ALWAYS if someone was irritating or bothering or irkling me, all I had to say was "IMMA SIT ON YOU!" and that was a sufficient threat!

Now that my body mass is only sufficient to smush small children, super models and other extremely little humans, I am without my easily accessible arsenal of threats!
I will have to come up with more clever threats... so frustrating!

Goodbye my dear, dear threats! :'(

The following have served me well, I ask for a moment of silence to remember their years of service:

"You keep talking smack like that and I will FALL ON YOU."
"Don't worry friends, if they try to stop us I will SIT ON THEM."
"Pick me up and MAKE ME."

No wonder skinny people feel the need to carry guns, I feel so vulnerable and insubstantial!

I'm developing a profound sense of pity for skinny folks, the world must seem like such a big scary place for them.

(Please try not to take me too seriously)

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